You’re listening to episode #76 of the Grind & Be Grateful podcast! You know that I love bringing on guests from alllll different backgrounds, and today, I have on the queeeeen of relationships… Vienna Pharaon! If you’ve ever wanted to have a better relationship– romantic or otherwise, work through the struggles of your past, and learn the tools for becoming a more self-aware, emotionally intelligent human, you are in for a TREAT! Vienna is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist and she has a private practice in New York City, but I found her from her EPIC Instagram page MindfulMFT, where she gets into relationships, personal growth, the tough inner work, and she is a GENIUS about things like bridging the gap between conflict and connection, how our past impacts the way we show up in our present relationships, the people we attract, and the type of arguments we find ourselves getting into. Guys, this woman is incredible. Vienna uses warmth, compassion, intuition, optimism, and collaboration to help people, and today she is like the therapist fairy god mother, blessing us with SO MUCH wisdom and tons of actionable takeaways. This episode could be the single most important puzzle piece to ANY #change you’re looking for in the new year– within yourself, with others– because let’s face it, those two dynamics are what makes our world go round. 

The G&BG Accelerator! (3:09)

Review of the week (5 stars) @Akwebb87 (7:11)

WHO is Vienna? (10:40)

The change in the climate of therapy (14:30)

What is a family system and how does it inform our thought patterns + beliefs? (16:43)

Re-programming patterns + “observation of the Self” (22:30)

– journaling, meditation, breath work

“Updating our operating system” (24:01)

Loyalty to systems + trouble while claiming a new way of being (27:10)

“Instead of turning away from it, turn towards it…” (27:50)

“Judgement leans away, curiosity leans towards” (28:12)

“Presence will be of service to you…” (30:20)

Vienna on RELATIONSHIPS (33:16)

“Someone who is practicing self-awareness and integrating their findings is generally going to be someone with whom you can have a healthy relationship” (34:00)

Signs of toxicity (35:13)

Defensiveness, criticism, contempt, and stone-walling (35:20)

“If you are paying attention, you will actually see how a person observes themselves and other people… how open or closed they are to the world… notice in the little stuff…” (39:10)

Communication (40:00)

“opening up and being able to communicate about the ways you received communication is really important to have with your partner at some point…” (44:20)

Vienna’s advice for stating needs + setting boundaries (45:40)

How can we see conflict as helpful + necessary? (48:30)

“Conflict is one the most beautiful ways to connection, deeper intimacy, and the awakenings to the self the other”

“Conflict does let us know that something isn’t healed, or taken care of, it NEEDS us” (49:50)

Believe that it’s possible for conflict to be functional (51:15)

Therapy (52:29)

More Vienna! (55:50)

Self-awareness, boundaries, sex + intimacy (56:05)

VIENNA’S COURSE: Get The Love You Want

One thing Vienna is currently grinding for + hugely grateful for (56:40)



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